정말 오랜만이에요!

Like the title says, it’s been such a long time since I made a new post. I think it’s been about seven or eight months! Sorry for my absence, there was a reason for that. To tell the truth during that time I didn’t study an ounce of Korean. I just want to say that this post is going to be more personal than about language learning, just so you know. I have been trying to avoid having to address this because I don’t like to admit when there’s something wrong. I was denying it myself at the time and I blamed my absence on books being too expensive, but that wasn’t the real reason.

About May of last year my grandma passed away, and at the time I was trying to convince myself that I wasn’t affected by it, and I really wasn’t, at the time. That was only because I pretended like she never passed away in the first place. I knew she was dead, so I don’t mean that I was literally trying to contact her or anything as if she were still alive, but I didn’t accept it yet. I was still studying Korean at this time, just not as energetically. And then in August is when my mom found out she had breast cancer, and a week after that I completely stopped everything. If you know me I’m not the type of person to have hundreds of unread emails; I stopped doing that too. I saw what was happening but I just dismissed it, lying myself it was just the expense. I believed it at the time.

I actually didn’t really address my mom’s diagnosis with breast cancer as a real issue until she started getting surgeries for it. I don’t even think she believed that she really had cancer either, but she kept going to dozens of different doctors offices and they were all telling her the same thing, that she had cancer. Even though I started to accept it, I still didn’t admit to myself that I was also being affected by it. I was still telling people that I was studying Korean and months into it, I finally told my best friend that I stopped studying Korean and began maintaining because of the expense and traded it out for German. That was the closest to the truth that I got, but it was partly a lie, unless you consider “maintaining” a language as navigating around my phone and Google account in Korean, but other than that I didn’t do anything in the language. And the reason why I traded it out for German was because it was just a language that I found solace in. During that time I do feel like my German comprehension improved dramatically, but I’ll talk about that in another post.

Just halfway through last month I started to think about starting Korean again, after picking up some Japanese textbooks(written in Korean) that I had bought last year but I kept thinking “the books are too expensive.” So I started to study Japanese instead through the textbook and reading in Korean again and understanding the meaning of what was written made me do some research on cheaper alternative websites to buy Korean books. Long story short I did find about three of them, which is weird because it’s not like I haven’t heard of them before, but now for some reason, after looking at them again I found out that there shipping rates are really low, because they’re U.S.-based(I always found it weird how after a long break from a language, coming back you understand a little bit more). So now, I’m putting German on hold yet again, and I’m starting up Korean again, alongside Japanese. I’m going to be taking what I learned from German and applying it to my future learning, things like graded readers and using Learning with Texts. It’s spring break right now, so I don’t know how often I’ll be able to blog for the rest of the school year, but I’ll try to post here and there. So bye bye for now~

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